The Gift

[Published in The Bible of Hell (USA)]


I awake after sleeping for a long, long time. All around me are the things that I imagine, conjured pictures from my active brain. The scene is so colourful it is almost blinding. Images dash around, here and there, flying and scuttling across my vision. Suddenly I feel a knocking at my temple, small knuckles hitting my skin. A voice follows.
"Do you want to play games with me?"
The voice belongs to a girl. I see her now, a tiny waif with eyes that can bind spells. She is naked. I study her carefully, my eyes moving over her like spiders crawling across delicate flesh. I am sure that she can actually feel my probing eyes, for she flinches momentarily and lets out a startled sigh. I myself am shocked. She is not an image I have invented -- she is real.
"What kind of games?" I enquire, apprehensive and cautious.
"Mind games."
"Oh yes? Anything in particular?"
She licks her lips. "There is one I like to play. I take something from your mind and you must find it. And then you take something from mine. What do you think?"
I pause before answering. "Who are you?"
She belches out a laugh that I cannot believe is within her capabilities. Her eyes glare at me as though she is possessed by madness.
"When the game is over perhaps I will tell you," she says.
I thought my sleep would be neverending, and I wonder if this is a dream I am having. The girl is indeed quite beautiful. She looks at me with a smile that could crush skulls. Her eyes are nearly hypnotising me into taking part in these games she suggests. I consider the reasons for this offer of play. Is she wiling away the time until the end of all existence? Or is she simply waiting for the world to begin? I finish my musing, for I have come to a decision regarding the game.
"I will play with you," I tell her firmly.
"Good."
I smell the finery of her skin as she approaches. She reaches into my head with her tongue and scrapes at my brain. I can feel the wetness, the cold touch of her exploration. It is as though a small worm has entered my mind and is wriggling and squirming in ecstacy. Seconds later she withdraws. I feel no different, but I just catch a glimpse of something grey and shiny as she closes her mouth around her gleaming tongue. I watch her chew and then swallow.
"What have you taken?" I ask, for I really do not know.
"I cannot tell you. It is part of the game. Now you have to find it and get it back."
I am in a quandary. I ransack my mind, searching for something that isn't there. Nothing appears to be missing. What has she stolen? If I do not know then how can I attempt to retrieve it? A shudder runs through me, a terrible feeling of dread. What if she has taken the reality that exists inside my brain?
"Reality!" I exclaim. "Have you stolen reality? Tell me! I must have it back. Quickly!"
She sniggers. "No, I have not taken reality. I know the importance of stealing such an item. If I take that then I do not exist. Nothing exists."
I am relieved. My suspicion is confirmed also. The girl is real, and not a part of my imagination. But how did she get here?
"How much time do I have? Is there a limit?" I ask, for I am beginning to worry.
"You have all of eternity to find what I have taken."
I stare into her eyes, and I notice how mischievous is the look she gives me. This girl is evil. I am dealing with one who cherishes the gift of sin!
"But... you have chewed and swallowed it!" I declare. "Surely this is cheating? How can I take back what you have digested?"
She giggles in a childish fashion. "It is gamesmanship, not cheating. You have much to learn about playing games of the mind. Perhaps I should leave you for a while. Go back to sleep. I gather this is the thing you enjoy the most."
She vanishes, as suddenly as she appeared, departing from my imagination like a fleeing ghost. The pictures that surround me have lost all their colour. I smell her scent no longer, and detect no trace of her being here. Again I search my mind but discover nothing missing. Who was that girl? Who was she?
I contemplate asking my brother, but he is busy creating things. It's all he seems to do these days. I really must not disturb him, for I reckon his work to be vital. And so I drift back into the realm of sleep. My mind closes, wrapping itself around the reality I possess inside my head. I feel so comfortably numb... but something is amiss. Something is awfully wrong! And now I realise the truth, and I let out a piercing shriek. I know what the girl has pilfered from my brain. She has taken my dreams -- I am unable to dream! I scream some more. I am left only with nightmares...

I awake to feel a knocking at my head. It isn't painful, just slightly annoying. I have an idea what it might be, who it might be. The girl -- she has returned!
"You again!" I cry, jabbing my finger in her direction.
She chuckles like a small child. I look upon her body, naked and scandalous, and realise how fabulous she appears, how utterly charming. But I will not be tempted -- I refuse! Perils of the flesh are for heathens and those of a diseased mind.
"Do you want to play games with me?" she asks.
"I really don't know... you cheat too much."
Is she in my head or a part of the myriad of images that drift around me, the pictures from inside my creative brain? If she is in my head she must be real, but I realise that she is not, for she has rapped my skull from the outside. And so she has to be genuine, and has somehow infiltrated my imagination, hovering around the exterior of my head. Who is she? I wonder about her...
"Has my brother sent you? Are you one of his creations?"
"It's your turn to take something from inside my mind," she says, completely ignoring my query.
I hesitate before agreeing to continue with this fantastic pastime. She still has my dreams. How shall I get them back? I believe that she tricked me, and that I will never retrieve them. The nightmares that now plague my sleeping brain will terrify and haunt me for the rest of eternity. For this reason alone I agree to carry on with the strange contest.
Silently I touch the side of her head with my finger, and as if in a hallucination I push right through, penetrating the skin. It seems so simple. It is like a wall of water, and I enter easily. With my finger I rattle around inside, probing and searching. I know the thing that I seek. This girl is evil -- and I intend to take away this evil.
I withdraw, and clutch this thing close to my palm, curling my fist around it. It pulsates in a bizarre fashion, like a tiny heart against my flesh. I gaze into her eyes as I pop it into my mouth and begin to chew. It tastes of nothing. Seconds later I swallow. It disappears inside of me. I smile, and so does she.
"You learn the game quickly," she says.
"Do you know what I have taken?"
"Of course. But I will not attempt to get it back. You may keep it. Consider it a gift."
"A gift?"
She laughs, and then she reaches out with her tongue once more, lapping and leaping inside my brain with this hideous gleaming object. I feel her detach something from the bowels of my mind. My curiosity aches and throbs wildly. What is it? I feel no different.
"Do you know what I have taken?" she enquires, as she flings the contents of her tongue down to the back of her throat.
"My... my... conscience?"
Yes! This she has stolen and devoured. I listen to her insane laughter as reality overwhelms me, causing me great headaches. I close my eyes tightly, as I try to understand this creature. I open them again, and discover that she has fled, vanished without a murmur. Alone with my thoughts and a certain yowling inside my head, I contemplate a future with both evil and nightmares, and minus my dreams and my conscience. My brother will not be pleased.
I feel a knocking at my head. I think I know who it might be. Sure enough, she is back, and just as bewitching. Only this time she is not alone. Lurking around her are some... things. Creatures of darkness. I count them. One, two, three, four. I wonder how they got here, how they ended up inside my imagination, and outside of reality.
"Do you want to play games?" she enquires.
"I don't think so. You have taken too much from me."
"I don't mean with me. My four friends are here." She nods in their direction, but they do not move, not even a flicker.
"But what about our game? It isn't finished yet."
"Let's consider it a draw. No-one wins, no-one loses. That's fair, isn't it?"
"I suppose so."
"I have to go now. I have another universe to visit. Perhaps I will find others who might wish to play my games."
"Who are you?" I ask again, my curiosity overwhelming.
She answers with a laugh of contempt. "I really must go. My friends will entertain you. They like to play different kinds of games. Maybe you will enjoy it."
And she leaves, without a motion. She merely... disappears. I am left with the quartet of shadowy figures. I wonder about them. And inside my head, I can feel the evil kicking in. I believe she may be right. I should enjoy playing games with these creatures...
"Is it complete?" I ask my brother.
"Yes. I am pleased with the result. It's my best yet, I reckon."
"What is it?"
"A world. And this time I've included people, living things. I call them humans."
"Humans? What do they look like?"
"Just like you and I. Only less powerful."
"I suppose you'll be wanting this gift now then."
He nods, as though he is frightened of actually asking for it. But the evil has been developing inside my head, that which I plucked from inside the girl's mind. It now seems to be a part of me. I have ideas, and I intend to play some almighty games of my own.
"It is a very delicate thing," I explain to my brother, "it must be handled carefully, or it may be destroyed, accidentally of course. I'll need some assistance. My four friends will help me."
I look into his eyes, and detect some apprehension there. I wonder if he can trust me with his new invention. He has made these worlds before, but they have turned out to be awful, barren affairs, featureless and completely devoid of life. Now he wants to introduce these... humans?
"You go and lie down for a while," I tell him in my most reassuring tone, "you've been working too hard. Creating this world must have been exhausting. Leave it to us, my friends and I. We'll make sure the gift is delivered and applied accordingly."
I usher him into a white room, and he collapses on to a bed made from cloud-stuff. Immediately he sleeps. For this I am grateful, as I consider the wonderful things I will do with this new world. I have big plans, and I must thank this evil, this gift that now dwells inside my head.
The four creatures accompany me to my brother's workplace. The light dazzles us all, and I shield my eyes for a moment until I adjust to its brightness. And then I gaze upon the world, this planet that spins slowly in front of me. Now I must be careful, as I insert my hand into my brain and lift out the gift I have promised to my brother, the cherished object I have been holding for him -- reality! It throbs and vibrates in my hand, and I notice that strangely it is no longer white in colour, but a hideous and disturbing black. I place it on to the globe and watch as it sinks peacefully into the coloured mass, spreading in all directions, until it is completely absorbed.
The five of us look more closely at the world, trying to pick out signs of life. I see them, but they are so tiny I can hardly make out what they look like. They are moving around, scattering and scurrying all over the place. It is certainly a thrilling spectacle. My brother will be most pleased at this. He has created a planet, and it is alive with moving, breathing creatures. I look at my four companions, and indicate for them to go ahead with the plan. Now I sit back and observe.
War makes sure that tribes turn against each other, that they adopt weapons and ammunition, and that religion plays a large part in all of this. Famine turns the food rotten, destroys crops, causes arable land to become infertile, and makes sure that the water is unfit to drink. Pestilence plays a part in this too, lacing the water with disease, introducing infection and plagues, and causing these to spread like wildfire, so that many of these humans perish. And Death -- I love him madly! He sends an agent down to the world, a gruesome figure intent on stealing the souls of the dead. This dark creature carries a scythe, so that he is able to cut his way through the thick cloud of death that drifts across the planet. I insist that he brings all those souls back here to me.
My joy is interrupted as my brother bursts into the room. He has not slept for long enough, but even so it is too late. He carries an expression of pure terror as he gazes at the nightmare world that my friends and I have created. We have done a stirling job, I reckon, but he does not appreciate it. He stares at me with mad eyes.
"What have you done, Satan?" he shrieks.